With all the crap flying around about whether parents, mothers, aliens, etc. can be successful artists or not, let me ask a question. What if becoming a parent is what let you become the artist you wouldn't let yourself be?
Growing up my father was not all that supportive emotionally (blah blah blah! I went to therapy I'm fine now.). When it came for me to apply for college he didn't help in a very nice way either. I was accepted to art school twice, of course it came with a hefty debt price tag for parent and child involved. Instead of telling me that it's too much money, let's figure out a different way for you to pursue this, it was if you fuck up and fail I will disown you. (Now don't get me started with the fact that no one owns anyone. This type of rhetoric seems to just be common in our Italian family.) Still, adding this to a pile of higher education debt and growing up with this type of shit was really just too much. So, to make a long story shorter, I didn't go to school. I dropped out of college completely. And the crazy thing is, I'm so glad I did. Looking back my dad did me a favor, in the worst possible way of course, but a favor nonetheless. I don't have piles of debt lingering over my head and that is an accomplishment in itself I think.
The thing is, the lack of support at times was holding me back. I didn't feel as though I deserved to be an artist. I wasn't sure how to love myself enough to be an artist, I know corny ass shit right there. It's true though. Becoming a parent and having my husband by my side in all of this made me realize that I am allowed to do this. Having kids motivated me to take these creative moments for myself. It gave me focus. It still does. Now it's still really fucking hard at times. Not going to lie to you. However, without my kids I would still be that 19 year old thinking art school is what would make me an artist. That I couldn't possibly create anything because I don't have the deserving oh holy credentials of $100 grand of debt and nice piece of paper. That I need my father's okay and money to make art.
Well, I'm pretty much the shit at trying to prove people wrong. A blessing and a curse. I don't take no for an answer and if you tell me I can't it just fuels me to prove to you that I can (Huh, wonder where that comes from?). Like any child of divorce I found and created my own support system, and let me tell you they are fucking AWESOME!
So, would you say fuck it already?! Love yourself and your people enough to just make art! It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
*Please note these are my opinions and my experiences being an artist/human. You don't like them that's fine. There is a nice X in the corner of your screen. Feel free to click it anytime. xo
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Mother of paintings & children. Both bring a connection to something bigger than myself along with a feeling of I don't know what the hell I'm doing!
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